because i love you enormously, sir nikolai, this is what i'm giving you for valentine's day:
1) a song (well, fragment. not quite finished) ... i know, surprise.
2) public humiliation
to everyone else: if you are wondering how posting this on the blog is a gift and not just some glorified look-at-me-look-at-me festival, i must confess that it's among the last things i would ever want to do. i've shared a song or two on maybe 5 occasions among friends and family (nick included), and even those made me nigh wet myself, so you can imagine what tremors and palpitations are going on right now. BUT. nick's been begging me to unbushel my candle or what have you for, well, years now, soooo...
happy valentine's day, lovey.
oh, a few more things: the subject matter is revealed quite quickly, so i'm not bursting any balloons here (that's not right, is it?), but i want to say that this post marks the end of my referencing the infertility monster. as our good friend seneca said, light sorrows speak volumes, while great ones are silent, or however he put it. doesn't matter--it's true. i wrote volumes, and now i'm done, as it really is a light sorrow that might not even be a sorrow at all. but it didn't feel that way when i wrote this, so there you have it.
i wrote this the day after i got so mad that one night about you not feeling my pain or some other such nonsense, and instead of getting mad back, you said the sweetest things i ever done heard, and all night, all i could think was, "by gosh, my husband is a poet!" unfortunately, it was prettier when you said it, but i tried. i'm sorry i didn't tune the guitar before recording this high-quality photo booth video. actually, listening to it is making me decide i can't post it, so i stopped. hopefully you are made of stronger stuff. it's cute because i love you, right?
also, posting this video makes me regret never following through on that haircut decision. and not brushing it. and failing to get ready for the day in general. and i would like to apologize to lauren christine fuller stewart in particular for my egregious center part, but i can promise i'm not wearing nude nylons under my basketball shorts in this video.
nicholas, i love you vury much. thank you for thinking my music is neat.
ps this is a piano song, but as you know, we don't have any of those in our room.
lovelovelove
e
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16 comments:
After a really crappy day you made me smile.
Your voice, darling dear, is heaven-sent. Your babies have heard it from heaven. I'm sure of this.
Wow. Your voice is really amazing. Really, really. And you are too (not just your voice). Nick is lucky to you have you. Love you both!
Elyssa! This just sent my memory reeling into the past in jeru where you serenaded me. And it made me reeeeally happy watching this because I absolutely adore your voice and I totally thought of you today when I listened to priscilla ahns song lullaby and Regina spektors us. You are awesome!
thank you for sharing this and for unbusheling your candle (somehow that sounds a little dirty). Anyway, you are a gem a real sparkly beautiful gem.
As for the 20*6 mystery we were deep in conversation about how far our $75 birthday gift card for Outback Stakehouse would stretch... incase these three periods are causing you to wait with bated breath I will divulge that the $75 stretched far but not quite far enough.
I miss you guts. Thanks for the birthday message :-). I promise to write back soon.
so I've never heard you sing before, and you blew me away! You're incredible. Happy lovers day!
Happy valentine's Day baby girl!
I, of course, love the song. I am so glad you and Nick have each other. It keeps a mother's heart warm at night. And great idea, btw, I think I will do the same for dad.
xxoo
i'm glad you put your "candle" out there. you are too darling for words.....
this is why i love you most.
Okay... you made WalterP cry. We put you on full screen and it was almost like you were really here with us and the dogs got really excited and started running through the house looking for you and I'm rambling but that's pretty much because it made me cry too in a good way. So very proud of you both. Nick's right. Sing. xxoo
Yup, she knows me - it did.
xoxo baby
xoxo to you too, Mr Nick.
wait. you wrote this?!
lady. lady! you are incredibly talented and beautiful! thanks for sharing.
pst. i remember hearing your familia perform at your wedding reception, and thinking.. wow. you're not going to find any music skills in the bess clan like that! ;)
holy crap. I'm SO glad you 'came outta the closet'...as it were...and introduced yourself because now i know the wonderment that is your blog and life in thailand?! THAT is SO awesome. also, your song is beautimous and THANK YOU for your LC reference. probably that made my whole day :)
Stunning. I think I got to hear some of your singing once too (were they hymns?) which is why I was happy to see you post this. Amazing! Now, if you would post a weekly singing installment that'd be just great. K thanks. :-)
I love it. You know I do. I'm sad we can't live together and beg you to sit on my floor and sing to me anymore.
PS I was playing this for the 100th time and Ry walked in and said "I like this, what Pandora station is it?" You're a hit!
I love it. :)
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