beware of oil

soooo, this past friday, we were preparing for our first-ever youth activity at church. we're trying to instigate the once-a-week short-and-sweet idea for activities, because the norm right now is to have a 10-hour marathon on a saturday every 6-8 weeks or so. they tend to be rather expensive and, well, horrifically long. so it's been a bit of a struggle to get the concept across to everyone, and the process leading up to this activity was also lengthy, but check it: we have separate and combined activities planned through june, people. and the kids decided to kick it off with a sort of iron chef competition, which we thought was a great idea.

the activity was to start at 5pm, so at 4, nick and i set off on my bike (nick's was still busted--still is, sort of, but พ่อ is more than fed up with the motorcycle guts in his workshop, so it's been hastily stitched up--but that's another story altogether, and i digress) to meet up with pukky and poppy, 15- and 12-year-old sisters in our branch who are stinking adorable and so amazingly solid, to go buy food and other prep materials. we met up and followed them to the giant food market on the edge of the city.

but! oh, snap! just as we passed the town in between ours and the city, i looked up to see the girls' bike just slam to the ground. my heart may have stopped, but i'm not really sure, because we immediately followed suit. and because i'm an awesome wife, i didn't even stop to notice whether nick was okay or not, because for the first time in my life (or third, or something), i'd gone completely momma bear in my head, and my girls were still lying in the middle of the road, obviously dead. [don't worry. not really. i'm just letting you be in my overreacting brain for a second.] i don't even remember getting up from under the motorcycle. it was weird. it's probably a good thing we fell, too, or i might have jumped off while we were moving without realizing it.

i ran over and got them on their feet and shooed them to the curb while i brought their bike. i don't know why, but in every accident i've seen, the person/people just lie there staring at oncoming traffic; it's terrifying, so the first priority was to get them to stop shaking in shock and get moving. nick had already moved our bike and was in the process of trying to cease quivering with rage at the MORON who had DONE THIS, etc. e tal, and i had no idea what he was referring to until i looked down at my clothes and beheld hexxus reincarnate, taking over my body.*

and then i got it! somebody had [just] taken a massive oil dump in the middle of one of the busiest roads around and left it there. nick immediately set to work blocking off the spill and trying to get it cleaned up--how convenient that we were right in front of a gas station, right? erm--and pukky called her dad (hey! he's the watch guy!), who arrived about 2.3 minutes later with fire in his eyes. but then he saw that his babies weren't dead and began directing traffic. we'd already witnessed 3 more accidents, and their victims joined us at the side of the road.

that's pretty much the end of the story. no serious damage was done--in fact, nick and i barely have any broken skin, although we did gain some gnarly bruises and some thoroughly destroyed clothing, despite an hour and a half of vigorous scrubbing and muttering, "die, hexxus, die!" nick said it was a wonder anyone else crashed after i mopped up the entire thing with my right pant leg alone, harhar--for which i am extremely grateful. the emergency rescue dudes showed up, but i'm not even going to go into our opinions there. just know that their parking placement resulted in yet another accident, but you can't blame them; it's not like this is their job or anything...

anyway, everyone got patched up, the road sort of got cleaned up, and we were on our way again. and even though we started almost an hour late (so much for leaving an hour early), we had a rockin' swell activity and ate some fantastic food. we have quite the little chefs in our branch. not to mention some of the toughest little chickies. pukky showed up at church all black and bleeding--she definitely won for most battered--and didn't even bat an eye. she just borrowed another girl's sweater so her dirty shirt wouldn't be visible, and that was the last anyone heard of it. nick can't believe that every single boy didn't ask for her hand in marriage on the spot.

i love our kids. they really are incredible. i'm so glad they were okay, and i'm so glad we have the opportunity to know them. and while i'm inexplicably stoked to be in the states in 13 DAYS, i'm going to miss these little people while we're gone. they are, without a doubt, the coolest thing about thailand. you should come meet them!

oh, and nick originally forbade me to blog about "the incident," for fear of giving parentals a heart attack, but with cool reasoning (okay, just pure obstinacy), i convinced him that full disclosure is always the best path. sometimes it's not, actually, but i don't know how to avoid full disclosure with pretty much anyone or anything, so there's no point in delaying the inevitable. so, parentals, i forbid you to have a heart attack. we're fine. and nick drives slower now, so this was actually a fortuitous occurrence; he understands now why thais drive like they're swimming in molasses. yay for safety!

oh, and here's what i looked like several hours after the fall, meaning i was as cleaned up as cleaned up can be:


have you ever seen a more terrifying head? i think not. it's the only photo we got, though. nick wasn't in the mood for theatrics, sadly. and a pity about that shirt, because it was my one remaining t-shirt with no holes or paint/cement/oil/work-in-general stains. and yes, i have spent the last 10 months mainly rotating 4 shirts and 2 skirts. i am not ashamed. just slightly perplexed about what to wear in the next week and a half if i ever have to look remotely presentable. i guess i should just be grateful i was wearing black pants, especially because i'm not kidding when i say the right pant leg was literally drenched in the guck. even after hosing and scrubbing myself off at church, i still had to sit on a pile of paper everywhere. guross.



*if you don't know who hexxus is, then you didn't have a childhood, at least not one in the early 90s, but you can go here (or here for more fun and games) and get a glimpse of what it might have been like if you had.