sometimes, when you take the road less traveled by, you get eaten by a grizzly bear; and other things robert frost forgot to tell us

sorry for the hibernation, y'all! we've been a bit preoccupied--nick with making all our food and getting laundry taken care of and taking trips to the expanses of northwestern thailand for his calling and finalizing moving details and trying to sell the car and going to physical therapy and packing up the house (again...) and researching how to support his burgeoning family once we're actually back in the states, homeless, jobless, and broke, and me with lying around like a slug growing a human. i tell ya, men have it SO easy...

but we have one more day, and then it's off to bangkok we fly. crazy talk.

as the title of this post might suggest, we've been doing some soul-searching lately, as one might hope we would in our situation. our plans for this year have essentially been thrust down the porcelain throne, and sometimes that can feel like that means that our plans for our life in general have also gone the way of the dinosaur. ah, it feels good to mix analogies sometimes.

but moving on: so we've been asking ourselves what on earth we've been doing for the last 2 years, not to mention what on earth we plan to do for the next 2 years. or months. many people could look at us right now and say we's dumbutts, and i'm sure in some sense that those people would be correct. we've made some poor choices. but i don't think it follows that all of this was in vain or in pursuit of a vain goal. in other words, i don't feel like we're failures just yet. these past 3 months in particular, while overwhelmingly covered in unanticipated suckage, have already taught us so much, about our character, our values, and our real desires. that doesn't mean we're not clueless yet, but it's been a pretty interesting little chapter so far. we're just gearing up for round 2 at the moment. being eaten by a grizzly turns out not to be so bad--unless, of course, we've only been slightly dismembered at this point, which is entirely plausible. but should we be devoured in full, at least we're doing it with flair, right?

anyway, all this babble is leading up to some more public humiliation, because all this ruminating on my part has led me to a remembrance of a "song" i wrote last year during the floods, the day after we bought my baby (the musical one shaped like a guitar in place of the human one i was pining for). it was a silly little 30-minutes-to-write song at the time, and it was meant to be so in the face of lots of things not working out, but the words are a little more ironically funny now. so i've thought on them. and guess what? i still feel like they're true. this artistic thailand experiment might have crashed and burned--but we can't be sure of that yet. and good things are still on the horizon, darnit. how could life be sad when nicholas morrill is your lover? that's what i'm saying, guys. that's exactly what i'm saying.

so, in the spirit of embarrassment that is sort of our lives right now, i'm lettin' you all take a look-see. it's chock full of mistakes, the sound is awful and sometimes you can't even hear the highly skilled guitar playing, and for some reason the visual is a second behind the audio, but that all seems fitting, no? it's awesome cuz i'm almost 6 months pregnant, and therefore, anything i do is awesome. isn't that how it works? enjoy my shame, and may you all have a stupendous day in the face of your own woodland-dwelling grizzlies.