part two!

first off, thanks for the internet love, everyone. i will admit that pushing the "publish" button left me feeling rather naked. not that that's not my favorite state of being, of course; it's just a little foreign in the textual sense. the validations are appreciated.

plus, writing the dang tome out to the end turned out to be exactly what i needed. i've been on this track for a little while now, but after i re-read what i'd written--i've always been told you're supposed to do that before declaring a written work the finished product, but i've yet to obey--i was able to look at the situation and say, "gee whiz, elyssa. this really is no big deal. now move along, would you!"

i never thought i'd be able to get here. i've always thought that missing out on the childbearing process would be the end of me. much to my delight, however, mine eyes have been opened: there are gajillions of kids who need mommies.

case in point:

at the market this morning, there were more minors begging than i've ever seen. i asked แม่ why they weren't in school (i'm not an idiot--i just wanted to see what she said), and she told me that there are bad men who take children and make begging gangs, not letting them do anything but be dirty and beg and become bad children, and then they round them all up at night. i asked why the government doesn't do anything to help them, and she laughed. "they're not thai. don't worry about it."

i
am
SO
angry.

i love thailand. i love thai people. i LOVE our family here and know that they are amazing souls. i try to refrain from criticizing things i disagree with, because i know it's usually just that i don't understand the full context. that said... i HATE the national attitude toward these people. i hate that migrants' children have no rights nor even the ability to tug at mothers' heartstrings here. i hate that any orphans or abandoned children are known as "crocodile kids," who are believed to be evil spirits who will kill you after you've raised them if you take them in. i hate that kids with disabilities of any kind are often thrown away, and the facilities that take them in are poorly researched and underfunded at best and shady and malicious at worst. i hate that thai adoption laws make taking in these children almost impossible.

there's a lot more that i hate, but that's a lot of hate for one moment, so i'm done for now--done ranting, at least. be warned, however, and welcome to my new crusade.

i meant it when i said i'm grateful that i haven't gotten pregnant yet, despite the fact that i hate it. something tells me i'm tapping into where i'm supposed to be going, and who could complain about that? nick seems to be getting ideas of his own, as well, and let me just say that juuuuust maybe... "it seems we were designed for each other!" name that one. you get the prize only if your disgusting hand wave is convincing enough, though.

but seriously. he is the best. whatever levels of awesome i attain in this life (and, between you and me, i plan on reaching some serious awesome), sir nicholas is to blame. cue narcissistic, youthful rose-colored drumroll, and i'll agree with you, but it had to be put out there.

to wrap up the soul-sharing, as it's getting kind of syrupy over here, i will say that i love *you guys,* assuming i actually know you. the support of family and friends has been enormous, and it has meant the world to us. you give us the courage to keep doing these crazy things, whatever they end up being. i must especially plug for missuses osborne and klaver, as they have clocked in well over a thousand hours each of listening to way more drivel than any human being should be subjected to for any reason. i (and assuredly my husband) thank you ladies publicly for my sanity.

with that, i close. i will definitely be posting more as i hopefully find a [legal] job in this arena of child-saving (good vibes sent this way appreciated), so the serious boring stuff has by no means come to an end, but i hereby promise that the next post will at least include pictures, and they may or may not depict the consumption of bugs.

smooches.