“contemplate the extent and stability of the heavens, and then at last cease to admire worthless things.”

from boethius. whoever that is.

we went to INDEX LIVING MALL last night. it's basically the ikea of thailand, except prices match ikea prices in US dollars, meaning it's pricey to the max by thai (and especially sankamphaeng) standards. plus, it's more crowded, because it's asian.

i had a weird experience there. for the first time in my life, i thought this thought:

"gee whiz, we're poor!"

and i got weirdly yearny for the fashionable-looking crap all over that will indubitably fall apart within the next 3 years. the feeling didn't leave me the entire time we were in that wretched place, even as nick mocked everything and kept talking about how stupid we are as humans to desire things that are unnecessary, expensive, and inconvenient when their cheap, not-as-attractive, high-utility cousins are equally available. what a man.

then, this morning, we made the 5:30 trip to the temple for offerings and prayers and monk blessings and whatnot. as a tangent, there's an "ancestor house" next to my work where they burn incense, and the other night, nick stopped to sniff and said, "never thought i'd say this, but when i smell incense, i get that home feeling, you know?" too true.

anyway. as we participated in the various rituals, most notably the water-pouring repentance and the incense-burning praying, i felt so good. i remembered that we're building a stinking house for peanuts--ok, not peanuts, but for about the amount of our SMART grants; hoorah for supposedly useless majors, y'all--in a gorgeous country where we have good jobs that will give us great experiences, both professional and personal. we have families and friends that are some of the best folks in the world, even after accounting for our natural biases. i've been blessed to see more of the world than many others have, and i know that what we've got going for us right now adds up to a whole darn lot.

not to mention that we have tons of food and sufficient clothing and access to medical care. nor the fact that we're in our early 20s and are expected to be "poor" right now, even though, in reality, we're not, not even a little bit.

basically, i've been humbled. seeing all those tiny old ladies in their white dresses kneeling for an hour on concrete in order to show gratitude should definitely have been enough for anybody. and there comes a point when it just becomes ridiculous to feel anything but gratitude to a Heavenly Father who has been so mind-bogglingly generous to two of his clueless kidlets.

and in that vein, i'm off to the branch's service project. well-timed. i think we're planting trees? we'll see. for now, all i know is i love this place. and i love my nick. life is so, so good--somehow, even without a plasterboard kitchen table with stripes.